i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize