I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
