My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Terrible idea I love it
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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