im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize