R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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