Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
