Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
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She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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