Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
