I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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