I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
