So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work