Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.

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(201): I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful. http://tfl.nu/v9lp

Replies (11) Good night (5192) Bad night (1092)
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(305): View more from Florida

Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.

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(305): Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming. http://tfl.nu/4nef

Replies (51) Good night (8863) Bad night (1017)
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(512): View more from Texas

Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.

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(512): Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer. http://tfl.nu/t35w

Replies (22) Good night (4560) Bad night (1182)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.

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(717): I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better. http://tfl.nu/z41g

Replies (13) Good night (4665) Bad night (1021)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.

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(724): It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution. http://tfl.nu/mzdu

Replies (0) Good night (846) Bad night (2556)
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(310): View more from California

I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea

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(310): I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea http://tfl.nu/towc

Replies (7) Good night (2731) Bad night (1288)
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(916): View more from California

That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.

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(916): That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe. http://tfl.nu/yz4h

Replies (4) Good night (600) Bad night (1540)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.

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(+44): So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me. http://tfl.nu/ocor

Replies (1) Good night (628) Bad night (849)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.

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(715): After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted. http://tfl.nu/w4vl

Replies (5) Good night (619) Bad night (1206)
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(949): View more from California

the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?

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(949): the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real? http://tfl.nu/2sta

Replies (2) Good night (1811) Bad night (424)
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(310): View more from California

Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).

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(310): Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok). http://tfl.nu/yawu

Replies (2) Good night (973) Bad night (429)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.

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(208): I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook. http://tfl.nu/vmgg

Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (585)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.

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(973): Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police. http://tfl.nu/4iv8

Replies (0) Good night (925) Bad night (298)
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(347): View more from New York

I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar

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(347): I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar http://tfl.nu/k41u

Replies (1) Good night (416) Bad night (229)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.

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(405): I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob. http://tfl.nu/b9mz

Replies (0) Good night (339) Bad night (264)

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