how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So much rum. So many feels.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
