??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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