omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
