don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
