at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
