that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
