i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
