Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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