I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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