I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
