so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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