Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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