New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
