Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
