I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
