im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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