she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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