i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
