I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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