I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
