She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
