why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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