Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Congratulations! We have a period
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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