the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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