doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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