what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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