census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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