Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Actions speak louder than pants.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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