I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
