Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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