I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I can text with my tongue
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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