That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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