Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
