We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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