Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
