i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
