i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
