I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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