Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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