1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
