so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
