She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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