How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
