Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
