My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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