A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize