are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
