But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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