I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
