I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
