Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
