Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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