Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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