If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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